Last Night

Thursday 6:00 pm - At my moms, picking up Taylor and getting ready for our dinner date with Lashawn and Nicky. Josh pulls up, he's going to play poker tonight. Such a pain in my ass because drinking and driving is always involved. That and of course him not answering my calls. "So poker is tonight, I don't want no shit like last week, play in your tournament and get home." He replies some bull shit.. I felt then he was lieing right then and there. Even called him out on it.. he replies some more bull shit.

8:00 pm - Dinner is ok, I'm not a huge fan of Mexican... besides the chips and salsa. The kids are fighting over some paper. Lashawn and are are chatting, I really like her, she's a good person.

9:00 pm - Going for Ice cream now. This is way late for me to be out, but Taylor seems to be enjoying herself, I am too to be honest.

10:30 pm - In Bed, reading to Taylor -- I call Josh, he says he's just about out of the tournament. He will be home soon. We fall asleep.

12:30 - Eyes Open - No Josh.... I call
and call
and call
No answer.
Stomach gets upset, as it does when I feel this way. I remain on toliet.

1:00 am - I look out the window and to my surprise, his car is outside, but he is nowhere in site. I walk around the house. I find him laying on the ground in our side yard smoking. I hate that he smokes. I walk away, saying not one word.

1:05 am - Who does he think he is?? He promised!!!! Fucking asshole, I'll show him.

1:06 am - Me filling up a bucket of water.

1:07 am - Me dumping water on Josh! At this moment I am feeling pretty damn good. But what did it do?? Did it was away his gambling issue, or his drinking problem???..... well no. Did it make him feel bad to lying to my face??? Well no it probably didn't. Damn good feeling gone.

1:30 am - I have locked my bedroom door.. try my hardest to go to sleep. I have work in the morning, and much to get done. Stomach is upset again, would like to go to bathroom.... but don't want to run into the fuck head.
I hear him at the door.. sounds like he is trying to get in.
Noise stops. I see a Shadow under the door. Hopefully he hung himself... well that's not nice.
I turn on the light... I see pink fuzz .. Taylor's pillow. He must be sleeping outside of the door.
I lay away practicing my Albie. I fall asleep.

3:30 am - I open door. There he is. I'd like to step on his face, but I wont. He look innocent when he's asleep. He can't lie to me, or hurt my feelings, he can just sleep. I leave the door open.

5:00 am - He jumps into bed.

6:45 am - I'm up, ready to jump in the tub. Fucking plug is broken... ughh. I really want to take a hot bath. I mess around with it for a bit.... I finally plug it with a rag.
Bath is half full when the hot water goes off.
Really?? I say out load... speaking to myself, maybe God, anyone who is there. Maybe nobody is there. Nobody is here.

7:30 am - I here my name... MOM. I run in, good morning beautiful.